As some of you may have noticed, I’m taking a break from my Open Letters series. That’s not to say these posts will be any different, it’s just that my mind is scrambled and I can’t focus in on one particular topic.
Also, this post is going to be the complete opposite to my last post, for there’s no good news tonight…Warning: reader discretion is advised.
Usually, Endo/Adeno takes everything from me, my body, my stamina, and my social life. However, on the rarest of occasions it even affects my mental health. I tend to personify Edno/Adeno because sometimes it feels as though these chronic conditions have some minds of their own. Everyday I aim at doing something, big or small, to overcome these illnesses. But today, I have found myself more anxious than I’ve been in over 3 years.
Over these past 4 months, I feel as though I’ve stepped back in time. My periods, pains, and symptoms are way worse than they’ve been in years. And now this week, I find myself even more concerned. I’m currently suffering from a period that went 42 days since the start of my last cycle. Also, I’m facing the fear that the last time I went 44 days was back in 2017 when I bled on and off for 23 days.
When I’m curled up into a ball, it’s a lot harder to stay strong and find a way to overcome Adeno/Endo. Today, I’ve lost the war on overcoming the mental and physical toll that these illnesses have on me. But, tomorrow is a new day and if not so is the following. I hope that I can eventually find a small way to overcome this struggle again, even if I have to wait for this cycle to be over.