I think I can speak for most that 2020 has been a horrible year. (I mean this weekend alone we lost Alex Trebek!) What was supposed to be the turn of new decade has actually been a time of despair, loss, war, and a lot of anger. I don’t know, maybe I’m projecting, but it definitely feels like this year needs to be over soon.
Update on Life: I am So Done with this Year
Those of you who have read my blog recently know that I have been trying to find new answers about what I actually have for chronic pain. I had an MRI and was seen by a new specialist I found. He put me on a progestin only birth control pill for the time being.
Well Friday was the big follow up appointment, and trust me it did not go as I had hoped. They found little to nothing on the MRI except for sequela of endo, which apparently are scars from endo that was removed. The specialist is pretty confident that I do not have Adeno and that I may have endo that is too small to be seen.
So once again I’m back to not knowing. Adeno has been a huge part of my life the past two years. Now all of a sudden I don’t have much and I’m back to hearing that I “should be normal.” Hahaha if only….
So Where Does that Leave Me?
Honestly? It leaves me back to where I started. It leads me back to no answers, and it leads me back to birth control unfortunately. This doctor wants me to stay on the pill for the next 3 months to see if it helps. He said that he uses it for endo that may be too small to see. Granted, it’s only .35 mg a day…but I still don’t trust it.
On top of taking birth control this specialist wants me to try pelvic Pt. This is where I put my foot down. This is what I chose was too much to handle. I know I don’t know a lot about pelvic floor pt, so I can’t make an educated guess as to it’s effectiveness. But I can make a personal guess: I am not sexually active, nor have I ever been. Actually, I’ve never been in a long term relationship because of surgeries, procedures, and health. But also because I think I am traumatized from my pain. So why would I put myself through pelvic floor Pt when I’m not sexually active and I am already traumatized?
Therefore, to answer the original question, this situation leaves me nowhere. I no longer have a real diagnosis, a good idea of what causes my pain. The hardest thing is the idea that I may live the next 8 years like this. And if I’m going to be in pain for the rest of my 20s then I know I’m going to miss out on life.
As such, I’m not really sure where this leaves me or what I’ll do next. I will try this pill for as long as I can tolerate it. But I’m already in worse pain this cycle. I also learned from #endowarriors that the pill is just suppressing the real issues. So I will see how long I can last on this treatment plan.