Is it 2021 Yet?

I think I can speak for most that 2020 has been a horrible year. (I mean this weekend alone we lost Alex Trebek!) What was supposed to be the turn of new decade has actually been a time of despair, loss, war, and a lot of anger. I don’t know, maybe I’m projecting, but it definitely feels like this year needs to be over soon.

Update on Life: I am So Done with this Year

Those of you who have read my blog recently know that I have been trying to find new answers about what I actually have for chronic pain. I had an MRI and was seen by a new specialist I found. He put me on a progestin only birth control pill for the time being.

Well Friday was the big follow up appointment, and trust me it did not go as I had hoped. They found little to nothing on the MRI except for sequela of endo, which apparently are scars from endo that was removed. The specialist is pretty confident that I do not have Adeno and that I may have endo that is too small to be seen.

So once again I’m back to not knowing. Adeno has been a huge part of my life the past two years. Now all of a sudden I don’t have much and I’m back to hearing that I “should be normal.” Hahaha if only….

So Where Does that Leave Me?

Honestly? It leaves me back to where I started. It leads me back to no answers, and it leads me back to birth control unfortunately. This doctor wants me to stay on the pill for the next 3 months to see if it helps. He said that he uses it for endo that may be too small to see. Granted, it’s only .35 mg a day…but I still don’t trust it.

On top of taking birth control this specialist wants me to try pelvic Pt. This is where I put my foot down. This is what I chose was too much to handle. I know I don’t know a lot about pelvic floor pt, so I can’t make an educated guess as to it’s effectiveness. But I can make a personal guess: I am not sexually active, nor have I ever been. Actually, I’ve never been in a long term relationship because of surgeries, procedures, and health. But also because I think I am traumatized from my pain. So why would I put myself through pelvic floor Pt when I’m not sexually active and I am already traumatized?

Therefore, to answer the original question, this situation leaves me nowhere. I no longer have a real diagnosis, a good idea of what causes my pain. The hardest thing is the idea that I may live the next 8 years like this. And if I’m going to be in pain for the rest of my 20s then I know I’m going to miss out on life.

As such, I’m not really sure where this leaves me or what I’ll do next. I will try this pill for as long as I can tolerate it. But I’m already in worse pain this cycle. I also learned from #endowarriors that the pill is just suppressing the real issues. So I will see how long I can last on this treatment plan.

2 thoughts on “Is it 2021 Yet?

  1. Did you tell the doctor about why you would not do theraapy? Being honest is hard but important if he is going to try to help you. I would ask if Pt will change your virginity, how is it actually performed and for how long. What does he think the outcome will be. And if that doesn’t work what does he suggest. Endo can be a lifelong stuggle without surgery and some with surgery. Your young, it sucks but you will have to carve out what you want it life. And make it haopen the best you can. I’ve been in pain since 2013 and my life has had some real downs. No I’m doing better and COVID hit. We all had to adjust. COVID will pass, we’ll have a vaccine and something else will come along. Life and shit happens. I have a very traumatic background involving sexual abuse and can understand why you would not want treatment. I really do. You have to ask yourself, what if I don’t do treatment? What if I do treatment. Ask him for examles of how it helped people so you can understaand the upside. If you still don’t feel comfortable be honest and ask him for his next option. I didn’t find out I had Endo until I had a hysotrectomy. That made perfect sense since I had so much pain during my periods. You have a doctor who at least understands that it may be to small to see instead of brushing you off like nothing is wrong. At least commit to the three months, you can say to the doctor you’ve done as he asked. Then he can make the next move. Good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s certainly a lot to think about. I am a huge fan of pelvic floor PT because it’s not just about sex, it’s about everything your pelvic floor effects if it’s in dysfunction. Urinating, defecating, low back pain, abdominal pain, hip pain, leg pain etc can all originate with pelvic floor dysfunction not just endo or other pelvic pain generators. There is external pt and internal pt so depending on your situation you may need both. Addressing pelvic floor issues ASAP is always the best thing to do but it also depends on treatment of endometriosis. Everyone is different with pelvic floor pt and require different techniques.

    I seriously recommend The Center for Endometriosis Care but I imagine you must be exhausted. Hang in there!

    Liked by 1 person

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