Fighting the Invisible War

Living with chronic pain and suffering feels like an invisible war. Just like with any war, there are victories and defeats, battles won, and causalities lost. Yet, this type of war is completely invisible, as it is unable to be seen by the outside world.

When asked to describe my experiences with my immune deficiency or with my chronic periods, I often use this imagery of an invisible war. I often feel as though my body is constantly fighting with my mind. Sometimes my mind overcomes these battles, and I am able to push past the pain and suffering. Other times, during my heaviest cycles, my mind is overtaken by the pain and suffering.

This is often why endometriosis sufferers are referred to as EndoWarriors, because they are all fighting their own invisible battles in this very real invisible war. Every person with any chronic pain or suffering is so much stronger than the world will ever know; we all fight these battles that the world may never be able to comprehend.

As with any war, these battles also leave scars and have an impact on the way we evolve and change. I know personally that I not only have my surgery scars, but I also have invisible ones that will always remind me of the battles I have fought. There is also a lasting impact, almost like PTSD, where I will never forget the battles that I have fought. I will never be able to get back the days lost, the time with friends missed, and the social opportunities that have been turned down.

And yet some how, I am stronger for it all. In some ways, these battles have made me who I am today. I may have lost a lot, but I have also gained the perspective of appreciating the little moments in life. I have established a tolerance that makes me strong enough to fight my invisible world and live at the same time. I constantly try to remind myself that if I can fight those battles, then I can do almost anything I put my mind to.

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